The Simpsons season 13The thirteenth season on DVD? check:  The thirteenth season episode guideTree House of Horror XII / season 13 - episode 1
In "House of Whacks", a Hal 9000-style home automation computer (Pierce Brosnan) takes a fancy to Marge Simpson, and unfortunately sees fit to dispose of Homer Simpson in the process. Next, following a gypsy's curse, Homer becomes Death incarnate as everyone in his presence either dies or mutates in "Curse of the Dummy." Finally, in "Wiz Kids", the children are tutored in the fine art of transforming frogs into princes at the Springfield Elementary School for Wizards.
The Parent Rap / season 13 - episode 2
Bart Simpson appears in court to pay for an embarrassing joy ride in the police chief's patrol car. But just before he is set free, a second, vindictive judge (Jane Kaczmarek) assumes the case and sentences him to the worst kind of detention imagineable: being tethered to Homer Simpson around the clock. Marge Simpson cuts the tether, and several events cause the new judge to nearly pass an even worse sentence, but then the old judge comes back and stops the gavel being banged.
Homer the Moe / season 13 - episode 3
After Moe heads for a Bart Simpson ending school to brush up his business skills, Homer Simpson is charged with keeping tabs on Springfield's premiere watering hole. But when Moe returns with a facelift in mind for the dank tavern, a disgruntled Homer opens his own bar in the Simpson family's garage.
Hunka Hunka Burns in Love / season 13 - episode 4
Homer Simpson's new job as the author of fortune cookies assures Mr. Burns that love is on the horizon. But when his date, the power plant's short-order cook, (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) infringe upon Snake's own aspirations, Homer and Burns become hostages. When Burns is safe, his date then realizes that she actually had more fun with Snake.
The Blunder Years / season 13 - episode 5
When a hypnotist goes to work on Homer Simpson, a traumatic childhood experience is released, leading to the quarter of a century-old murder mystery of Ernest K. Smithers. Mr.Burns has covered the corpse, and the story unfolds when the Simpsons arrive at his mansion. Smithers's father was in the reactor trying to fix things when he died, and Mr.Burns told the young Smithers that his father was killed by a tribe of savage Amazonian women.
She of Little Faith / season 13 - episode 6
Desperate for money (when Homer Simpson and Bart Simpson destroy the church with a home rocket), the First Church of Springfield decides to rent out its wallspace to local advertisers. Horrified at the living commercial the church has become, Lisa Simpson withdraws herself from the church and converts to Buddhism. She then finds that Buddhism allows going to church, as long as the religion does not promote anything against Buddhism. Richard Gere guest stars, as himself.
Brawl in the Family / season 13 - episode 7
When a Monopoly game goes sour, the Simpsons are forced to undergo the supervision of a social services officer to reinforce the ideals of a functional family. The family all works together, but then Homer Simpson's old Vegas wife comes. Marge Simpson kicks Homer out, but forgives him after a while. The Simpsons hatch a plan, and the two wives (Ned got one too) go back to Vegas.
Sweets and Sour Marge / season 13 - episode 8
Springfield is named the "World's fattest town", thanks to a diabolical scheme by the Motherloving Sugar Corporation, which spikes Springfield's entire food supply with sugar. Marge Simpson gets a law passed to ban sugar, but Homer Simpson and a few other men smuggle it in. When Homer dumps the cargo in the sea when Marge sees him coming in at the docks, everyone starts drinking the water. The judge decides to abolish the law. Ben Stiller guest stars as Garth Motherloving.
Jaws Wired Shut / season 13 - episode 9
Homer Simpson breaks his jaw in an accident, requiring it to be wired shut for a month. His resulting inability to talk makes him a better listener, and he becomes closer to family and friends because of it. They all like the new Homer much better, but when the wires come off, and Homer decides to stick with his new self, everyone begins to miss the old Homer's antics.
Half-Decent Proposal / season 13 - episode 10
Marge Simpson, with a little help from Patty, Selma, and Jack (Daniels), E-mails Artie Ziff, who offers $1,000,000 for a weekend ("no funny business") alone with her - money they could use for an operation to make Homer Simpson stop snoring.
The Bart Wants What It Wants / season 13 - episode 11
Bart Simpson develops a crush on Ranier Wolfcastle's daughter Greta (voiced by Reese Witherspoon). After hastily deciding he's not ready for love, he dumps her, only to change his mind later. But by then Greta only has eyes for one - Milhouse - and a trip to the set of Ranier's latest movie in Canada isn't enough to win her back. Wolfgang Puck also guest stars.
The Lastest Gun in the West / season 13 - episode 12
Bart Simpson and Lisa Simpson meet a washed-up movie star of westerns from the 1950s and attempt to revive his career by getting him to appear on the Krusty the Klown show. But years of alcohol abuse get in the way. Dennis Weaver guest stars.
The Old Man and the Key / season 13 - episode 13
Grandpa Simpson has a new woman in his life, who leads him into getting his driver's license renewed, only to end up in a race against old-age street punks. Guest stars Olympia Dukakis.
Tales from the Public Domain / season 13 - episode 14
A variation on "Simpsons Tall Tales", this time with Bart Simpson as Hamlet, Lisa Simpson as Joan of Arc, and Homer Simpson as...Homer (of Odyssey fame)
Blame It on Lisa / season 13 - episode 15
Lisa Simpson sponsors a South American orphan - and when the child is reported missing, "The Simpsons are going to Brazil!"
Weekend at Burnsie's / season 13 - episode 16
When crows attack Homer Simpson's eyes, the prescription from the doc is none other than (medicinal) marijuana. The healing goes well, but Homer gets addicted and doesn't want to give up his medicine. After becoming the pot icon for the town, Homer wins a job as Mr. Burns second assistant who's job is to laugh at Mr. Burns' jokes. Luckily, the Simpson family gets Homer off the dope, but when Burns needs him for some "honest feedback" the now clean Homer is all laughed out.
Gump Roast / season 13 - episode 17
The Springfield Friars Club roasts Homer Simpson, with help from clips from past episodes..."but don't call it a clip show".
I Am Furious Yellow / season 13 - episode 18
Bart Simpson creates an Internet cartoon entitled "Angry Dad" that's based on Homer Simpson - who then becomes a laughing stock. Marvel Comics' Stan Lee guest stars as himself.
The Sweetest Apu / season 13 - episode 19
Apu's unbearable life of work and eight kids drives him to have an affair with another woman, and when Manjula finds out, Apu will have to do everything it takes to win her back. Kathie Lee Gifford guest stars as the "other woman".
Little Girl in the Big Ten / season 13 - episode 20
Lisa Simpson is perceived to be a college student by some of her gymnast buddies and goes along with it. Seeing how intellectual the others are, Lisa finds herself in a world she'd never dreamed of. However, the secret may be to hard to hide. Meanwhile, after a bite from a Chinese bug, Bart Simpson has to live in a bubble which he uses to his advantage.
The Frying Game / season 13 - episode 21
As part of a Meals on Wheels program, Homer Simpson meets an elderly lady who quickly uses Homer as her servant. Marge Simpson is also hooked in and the two Simpsons don't like it. While coming to do some of her housework, Marge and Homer encounter the woman dead, lying the floor. With a solid case against them, the police now look at the husband and wife as their prime suspects.
Papa's Got a Brand New Badge / season 13 - episode 22
Homer Simpson accidentally causes an electrical blackout in Springfield, and all of the citizens begin looting the town's businesses. Chief Wiggum is useless at restoring order, so Homer takes the law into his own hands and becomes a policeman. Joe Mantegna reprises his Fat Tony role yet again. Season Finale.
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